crapola

Cleaning this computer because I will be returning it tomorrow because I've been using my office laptop at home since my laptop broke down. I've written a lot of stuff this past few months but all of them are unfinished ahaha so I'll just delete them. But there's this one document that I have forgotten about, but when I opened it, I remember everything about it. I wrote it when I thought I was bitten by a love bug but it turned out I was just being stupid hahaha. But I was really sad at that moment so I wrote this in order to get back on my feet. “The thing about a heartbreak is, it will linger around you no matter you want it or not. You will find yourself laughing at the funniest jokes but it still creeps at the back of your head. You will find yourself crying in the middle of the night because it decides to swallow you whole because you were over thinking it. One day you might find yourself feeling okay but suddenly the next day you are buried in your blanket bec...

There he is, sitting on the couch talking cock with his 'business partner'. He always tells me about his job, how he is making a lot of money and how he is busy bringing home the bacon, but I wonder why we keep eating the same things and why does he have to sell all my jewelries away. Well of course I know why, he was fired a few months ago (though he calls it an early retirement by choice) and the only way to make him feel better about himself is to talk crap about himself. He always calls me stupid but you don't have to be a genius to figure that out. The truth is, I never think that I am stupid.Well at least not as stupid as he tells his friends and me. I used to work at my abusive uncle's farm before I got married to this asshole. I was the best butcher there and that's not something that everybody can do. I am also quite good at handling finances and this is the reason why we still have a roof on our head. But of course, according to Mr Asshole I couldn't...

Hi! It has been a while. Having a moral dilemma now because as much as I want to join my parents in Cameron Highland, I've made promises to friends and I also have a job. Though technically I work from home, there are times where I am needed at the office. And I just sent out a document which means there will be a follow up later. Haha I am just justifying my stupid decision to just stay at home. But my parents are still here so I still have time to pack and go haha. I've been coughing for a week and it is very very annoying. It takes so much energy and it is worse at night so I haven't been sleeping properly all week. Is it because of the aircond? I am not going to find out because PJ is too warm to sleep without one. Hah the joy of living in a developed area. I need to try drinking honey and lemon but I hate honey haha but I cannot tahan any much longer. Wish me luck. The other day I met this person who is a big ball of talent and he really is like an onion. Everyda...

"Saya janji tak excited, atau sedih" kata hati. Otak pandang serong pada Hati tapi Otak percaya juga. Hati dan otak dua dua commander in chief, jadi apa apa keputusan pun takkan jadi apa apa tanpa Otak. Hati teruskan buat kerja, menjadi makin tenang supaya organ organ lain boleh tidur. Biasa kalau hati tak tenang, satu badan kerja penuh masa. Tapi sebelum tidur, Otak kata apa kata tengok keadaan sekejap. Mata dan tangan bergerak seiring, Hati masih sempoi lagi. Hati tak expect apa apa pun. Tiba tiba mata ternampak sesuatu, Tekak dah mula tan tenteram, sebab kalau Hati tak tenang, dia yang akan kena dulu sebab paip air Mata tak berfungsi secara normal. Hati dapat sense sesuatu macam fishy. Dia arahkan Mata fokus dekat satu tempat. Otak dah mengeluh. Tapi tiba tiba Hati kata, hm that was expected, kita relax relax je. Hati nak cakap ilek ilek je sebenarnya tapi Otak kata dia ada dignity nak dijaga. Hati kata hek eleh kau cakap Bahasa Melayu pun huru hara. Tiba tiba tangan c...

I am very bad at writing poems, so I am going to write one. Ha ha ha. Feel free to close tab now. Midnight lover itu apa? Escapism, bukan realiti sebenar, penghibur hati, Muncul di tengah malam, Di kala waktu manusia menjadi jujur, Tahu semua rahsia, Beritahu semua rahsia, Namun tidak relevan. Dia juga satu adventure, Thrilling, membuat jantung berdegup laju, Tapi bila pagi tiba, Semua normal kembali, Kecuali untuk midnight lover. Aku juga mahu midnight lover, bagaimana? Cari orang yang sanggup, Yang kewujudannya tidak diketahui siapa siapa, Realiti yang dia cipta tidak ada makna jika bukan midnight, Cari orang yang sanggup, Pada waktu lain dia bukan siapa siapa, Cari orang yang sanggup, Bazirkan masa siang untuk menunggu malam, Tapi midnight lover ini gagah, Jadi jangan kau bimbang, Carilah dia di waktu malam, Atau siang jika kau mahu, Dia cuma mahu ada, Tidak mahu lebih. ********************************************* Hahahaha tahniah jika baca sampai h...

Dah umur 24 baru dapat nasihat supaya "always keep your pants on" (edited version). I feel like I'm in a Hollywood movie/American series. Because that is as close as I can get to white people lol. I do believe that sex ed is very important. It is better to be aware than regretting things later. It should cover from how the machinery works and what comes with it. Being hush hush about it will not get us anywhere. I don't have any formal education on sex ed before I'm fifteen. Good thing that my teacher was very open about it so we did learn some stuff out of the textbook. I touched a condom too during class. I literally touch and not hold it because there's lube all over it and it's kinda yucky. If you're going camping or on an adventure, stock up on condoms as they can be used as water bottles. They are small and light and don't take up much space. Dont worry about the lube or flavors people put it in their mouth all the time. In case you didn...

You are a shit friend, Hawa. And also a shit person. Literally (because haven't pooped kakaka) and figuratively.  Okay this is a serious post. Not an update on my stomach.  Whenever I try to fix things, they end up being worse. But I still do it anyway. Probably because I am the only one who think that things need fixing. But if I sense something is not fine, should I ignore it? Because talking about it is also an attempt to fix it.  Also whatsapp is a bitch. Especially when you're explaining things. You say it this way, they'd see it the other way. So note to self, say what you want to say face to face or by phone calls. And don't be a chicken by only having balls when you're texting. A friend told me I was being irrational, I said thank you because at least I know how the friend thinks of me and friend said I am provoking. I really don't want to lose this friend, but all I do is pushing this friend away.  Sad to say that I am too attached to...

Dah bayar qada' tidur, dah hilangkan semua keresahan di dada lolol, dah buat apa yang patut maka saya rasa semangat nak menghadapi hari esok hahaha. But I did manage to destroy our company's bunting. Haih but I am going to fix it today so Boss, you better be happy I have the Midas touch. Haha. Converted my permanent status to part time staff so the Boss might be quite happy that I am not costing him more money hahaha. But he told me I can use the office if I want to start a business with the friend aka Kak Jane aka Zana Banana so I guess he is not that scared of the possibilities of me destroying the office. If you look at me you would be surprised at how many things I managed to destroy actually. Because I dont look like Wreck It Ralph. Haha what is this nonsense. I am so excited for today's lunch haha I've planned what I am going to eat already. Since yesterday. Yesterday I was so out of myself because too sleepy I walked like a zombie. I did find a little nook in...

Sewaktu orang lain berjumpa dengan Tuhannya di tikar sejadah atau di halaman masjid, Sang Gadis berjumpa dengan Tuhannya di tempat terakhir sekali yang boleh difikirkannya. Di sebalik bunyi kriuk kriuk katil yang bergegar kerana satu pasangan kekasih memadu asmara, di dalam sebuah bilik dipenuhi asap penghilang masalah sementara, Sang Gadis berjumpa Tuhannya. Di dalam keadaan terdesak itu, Tuhannya datang dan membisikkan kata kata indah, menenangkan hati Sang Gadis yang tersepit dalam keadaan. Di suasana yang dipenuhi dosa, Sang Gadis dapat melihat cahaya yang sedia memandu Sang Gadis ke destinasi yang sepatutnya. ********* Acah acah deep. tapi it is based on a true story. Dua minggu ni rasa jauh dengan Tuhan. Asyik buat salah walaupun tau tu salah. Tak tahu kenapa macam tu. Lepas tu macam dapat rasa Tuhan tarik satu benda yang penting, baru nak kecoh kecoh cari Quran cari telekung. Apa nak jadi ni Hawa. Lepas tu rasa diri makin tak tenang. Dah tau dah jawapan dia ada pada Tuhan,...

You know what I need right now? A nice long shower. And someone to shampoo my hair. Okay I take that back suddenly remember the scene from that scary movie aaaaa why now Hawa ******* One of Ibu's staff is going through a rough moment and apparently she took someone crazy to work with her haha. And she is living in our house. So sad seeing her going crazy now because she is a great cook and a generally nice person (when she's not creepy, like just smiling randomly at you a 1 a.m.)Ibu expected me to go and pujuk her but seeing her now, I really dont want to be anywhere near her. Even few days ago Ibu woke up to lock the boys' room because she's scared the staff is going to kill them. Now you know why I am paranoid about everything. I got it from my Mama ! Ibu really wanted to keep her as her staff but she is being difficult by not working and not eating at all. She is super weak right now that my mother had to force her to eat. I can hear the roar of all the ab...

The two ladies are at the hall attending a wedding of an old friend. The wedding is lovely, and since love is the main reason that they are there, it is hard not to talk about love and everything related. The first lady, Misha is in a relationship with a doctor, hence the reason why she is alone. Her boyfriend is very busy but instead of being mad at him for not being able to spend too much time with her, Misha believes that this is a great opportunity to find herself and also catching up with her friends. As for Jen, she is currently single. But she is fine with it because she is not rushing for anything. Good thing that her mother is not someone that would push her into doing things. "So Mish, and plans for the big day yet?" Jen loves preparing for a wedding, and that might probably be the reason on why she's not in a rush. "We have talked about it, but nothing is set yet. Also this will be the busiest year for Sam, so I will not be pushing him now. Besides, we...

Hello ! I just woke up from my superrrrrrrrrr long nap because I am sick today. Every year I'll be super sick for 1-3 days so that I can be grateful for all my healthy days (which I usually take for granted haha). I am having a mild fever, swollen tonsil and a very big headache. But this time around it is probably better because I am not as weak as I usually am. But still weak enough to not go to work today. My boss told me to bring mc but I really cannot justify paying rm50 for a piece of paper and a bunch of medicine I'm not going to eat. Especially when I don't have medical and the fact that I have to pay my own clinic fee haha. And I have been sleeping all day, where got time to go to clinic. Can I just bring a letter from my mother telling me I'm sick? When I become a boss later, and my company is still not big enough to pay medical for my employees, I 'll just let them use their leave instead of telling them to get MC because if the company is still not bi...

Hello, I am Patty hahahaha. Quick update while I dry my hair before heading out to buy baju for tonight. Was planning to go wearing jubah suddenly saw everybody super semangat so i kiasu hahahaha. Also because I have Zana who also got pressured into buying new baju. Hahaha totally not the cool kids because old already still got peer pressure.  Good news, I am at my degree weight already ! Wohoo ! It might go up or down later but I don't care. I'm just happy to make progress. I ate so much I gained 10 kgs in 6 months hahaha so I am glad to lose all that. Not sure if I look thinner or not because I still hear people telling me I'm fat so I don't know. But all my clothes fit better now so I'll just enjoy it by myself lah. Haha lagipun it's my weight it shouldn't concern anybody right? Unless if you're planning to put me in a luggage and take me on the plane.  But even though happy with losing weight, my digestive system is going crazy right now. ...

*Talks about baby* "Euw, geli gila panggil baby" "Oi, I was talking about a real baby lah" "Oh ingat panggil kita baby" Biasanya kalau pergi melawat bayi, ini yang saya akan buat. Ikut ibu pergi ke rumah bayi, makan, tengok bayi dari jauh dan balik. Sebabnya biasanya tak rapat dengan ibu bayi, dan juga ibu bayi biasanya nampak sangan protective terhadap bayi dia maka basic instinct adalah untuk menjauhi bayi. You don't trust me? Okay pergi melawat mana mana ibu baru lepas bersalin, tengok berapa kali dia pegang dan dukung anak dia. Lepas tu mesti nak bagi bayi makan masa tu jugak. Hm. Tak mencurigakan ke. Hahahahahaha okay I am just kidding. Sorry mothers. Tapi sejak beberapa bulan kebelakangan ini, asyik baca pasal penjagaan bayi dan ibu bersalin dan macam macam hal berkaitanlah. Lepas tu jadi macam confident pulak nak jumpa bayi. Mestilah, dah study banyak banyak kan haha. Masa Nur nak bersalin pun asyik bagi dia tips yang tak sure lah betul k...

Okay, only one baby. I am going to see Nur's baby today ! I am planning to buy diapers for the baby because baby's stuff is mad expensive (RM62.90 for a onesie ! Ridiculous !) and maybe this would help Nur a little bit. Not that she needed the help in the first place. I just feel like buying diapers haha. You might think that I like babies, but not that much. It is because babies hate me ! Most of the time they'll cry before I can even do anything to them. If the baby likes me, it is probably because they're the type of baby that is super chill with everybody. Not because they favor me. But I think I am good with kids aged 3 to 6. And teenagers. But I have no proof. But this is my blog so I can say anything and you must believe it. I got a bad dream today, and it felt super real. I woke up instantly and my eyes were bloodshed. They were super red (thank you captain obvious) to the point that I got scared looking at myself in the toilet. I hate mirrors but one of my br...

"If you ask me how can I see a true love, it would be the look on my face every time I see your beautiful self. If you ask me how can something so little makes a very big impact, I will tell you to see me at the lowest point of my life and how listening to your voice can make everything better. If you ask me how far can someone go because of love, you can be at the other side of the world and when you need me I will run to you as fast as I can. I know this is way too sudden but I believe what we have between us is real and I am ready to commit to this 110%" Amy looks at her bestfriend's face after uttering the words that she had been practicing for weeks. His face is as serious as ever. "Say something.." Amy is desperate, she needs his answer now. "So, you are going all the way to Korea, take a taxi to the company where TOP works, march inside and say all these ridiculous things? And then what? Assuming that nobody would stop you first at the door, beca...

"Hi baby, you smell nice today! Isn't it too early for your bath today? I really love this new soap. Makes you smell like lavender and milk. You know that's my favorite smell right? By the way, today it's going to be a full house, everybody is coming ! Even your cousin from Ghana ! I hope his wife makes that brownie that they made for us when we went to visit them last year. They are the bomb" "Yesterday I dreamed of you, you know. We weren't married yet in my dream, so we were sneaking around the house to hold hands. but you looked super macho doing it. you held my hand all the time, and at one point I thought you were letting my hand go, but apparently you just wanted me to feel comfortable. Good thing that now we don't have to sneak around to do that. See, I am holding your hand now. Oh, your fingers are cold. Do you want me to make the temperature higher? Never mind, I'll just hold your hand and make you feel warm with my hand." ...

Testing 1,2,3, testing. Hello. Hi. Hi to all 23 of you. Thank you for coming here to be with me to send Amak to her next journey in life. Or afterlife. I don't know. I'm not sure how this works.  When I asked the person in charge on what should I put in my speech, he told me that I should insert some prayers and a few anecdotes of Amak. And that is what I shall do. You see, Amak lived all her lives with people spreading rumors about her, but instead of correcting them, she ignored everything and continued living her life her own way. And that what makes her special. Amak is my mother. She did not carry me in her womb for 9 months, she did not stay awake at night during the early years of my life like all mother's do. But she saved me and gave life to me when I almost died 15 years ago. After living for 15 years with her, there are a few of my favorite memories of her that I would like to share with you. My first favorite memory is when the first time I saw Amak...

Yes, more about my stomach. A future doctor told me that apparently if you eat and go to sleep right away, it can cause winds in your stomach ! I am guilty of having my meals before sleeping because that's usually when I feel the hungriest so maybe that is why I constantly have winds in my stomach. But the other day I ate too much while talking and drinking while eating, my stomach hurts so bad to the point where I was sweating and dying. I know that drinking while eating is very bad, but I could not help it. Once, Nuso put my drinks (two glasses of water haha) away because I kept drinking while eating. The reason why I do that is because I need to ensure that I will finish my drink at the same time when I finish my meal. So that the aftertaste of the food will linger around my mouth longer hahahaha is that disgusting? I hope not. But future doctor told me to buy charcoal pills because it can help me to get rid of the wind. And also to drink teh halia. I drank teh halia once, i...

AAAAAAA MY PHONE SCREEN CRACKED Walaupun semua orang macam setuju yang saya selalu rosakkan barang, itu sebenarnya common misconception lah. Barang saya biasanya dalam keadaan baik. Setakat hilang dua tiga kali tu tak cukup nak buat generalization yang saya tak reti jaga barang, itu namanya tiada rezeki hahaha. Tapi harini phone tu buat bungee jumping, lepas tu dia mendarat pada kaki kerusi. Sekarang dah ada retak dah situ. Dahlah phone office pulak tu. Haih. Kalau nak kena tukar skrin, baik beli phone baru je sebab kualiti phone entah apa apa haha phone zaman bila entah tangkap gambar pun masih kelabu lagi. Retak dia dalam 1 inci kot. Tapi retak di hati saya siapa yang tau. Eh eh eh. Dah, ada siapa siapa nak belanja HTC one tak?

Just woke up from my nap haha. Soalan paling banyak yang dapat dalam beberapa bulan ni adalah "kenapa tunggu lama lama sangat?". Pasal kerja yang tertangguh, pasal lesen, pasal beberapa benda lain. Secara jujurnya, saya sendiri tak pasti mengapa saya menunggu begitu lama. Mungkin sebab dah biasa tak kisah pasal benda, macam mana nak sangat benda tu pun, kalau nampak macam takkan dapat, terus pergi ke tempat lain. Tak pernah attach dengan satu benda dengan begitu lama, sebab macam tak peduli sangat. Sebenarnya macam bersyukurlah walaupun perjalanan hidup ni tak macam orang lain, dengan perangai tak pedulikan benda ni, Tuhan sentiasa bantu dengan hantar peluang dan orang orang untuk menyenangkan hidup. Alhamdulillah tak pernah rasa walaupun tak ikut perjalanan hidup yang normal, tak pernah rasa sesak dan tak cukup. Tapi, sebab perangai tak peduli ni lah tiba tiba dah terhilang satu peluang penting. Yang sebenarnya dari dulu lagi dah tau nakkan benda ni. Sekarang dah terla...

On Friday, I went to Nur's house and then we went to Noddy's house together. I was super amazed when I was at Nur's house because she is super adult and domestic haha. Something that I only see with older people. People at my age, I only get to see their wedding and not their marriage, so this is very different and suddenly, I also feel like I want to be domestic with my own tea set and fridge, I also want to iron my husband's shirt hahahaha. Tapi masa tu jelah. Now I just want to golek golek and think about my own baju only. On Saturday, I went to Shafi's wedding and got to catch up with so many people. There are also a few of my teachers there and it was very nice to see them. At first we didn't see them and apparently they were wondering why didn't anybody come and see them. After that Ili and I went to espressolab for our coffee session while waiting for Nanad ! She came all the way here to see me hehe. After that we went to Sushi Tei and ate dinner ...

Hehe not that scary lah, but still scary. Yesterday I spent hours sweating buckets at my cousin's wedding because I was in charge of the goodie bag. Okay, I was not in charge but I helped anyway. Now my right arm is very sore and I got a cut on my lips because lips too dry and I yawned and my lips split in the middle haha. I feel like taking a leave today but I don't have a lot to do today so might as well come in to work and take a nap if I need to. Oh but before I went to sleep last night, I went down to drink a glass of water and ate a croissant because my stomach was super gassy and I got a heartburn. After that, I went to bed. Then when I was tossing around because I cannot sleep, suddenly I can feel my heart beating super fast and hard? I can feel it in my throat ! The other day I read about what to do when you're having a heart attack hahaha so I kept coughing super loudly hoping that my heart would be calm. And then I whatsapped Nuso so that if I die yesterday, ...

Today I went out to buy something to wear on my cousin's wedding. I didn't buy anything but it was still a nice outing because I can finally talk to somebody (outside my family) (which I didn't really talk to these past few days because I kept falling asleep very early) about things. I am very lonely these days haha. But while we were talking, Zana said something about relationship and how she believes that someone that she knows will not last long together as a couple because she cant see how they're both soulmates to each other. I was thinking about what she said and suddenly I realized, it is not that hard to be someone's soulmate? In my 24 years of living, there are a bunch of people that I believe are my soulmates at one point of my life. My first soulmate is Nawawi. I met him in kindergarten and we spent a lot of time playing together. The teacher would separate the girls and the boys because it's an Islamic kindergarten but I would insist to sit beside ...

My youtube homepage is a nightmare. Haha I was watching a video because I was curious, and then I started to watch the recommendation and now suddenly the homepage is recommending me to watch videos about jiggers and multiple blackheads and worms in human skin hahaha. And please don't google jiggers. It is way worse that worms in human skin. Moving on to another news that is not geli, Bigbang's new music video is out ! The other songs are great, but this music video really is something else. Nah watch it now now now ! Tiqah said that I can spazz with her after watching this video but then she went to watch a movie and did not even watch this video and I don't want to spoil it for her so I am going to spazz here hehe The first time I watched it, I can feel my heart beating faster than before haha. I am in love. There's nothing to hate about this video. Oh wait, there is something that I hate about this video, the fact that I am not one of the girls hahahaha okay ...

Hello ! Ini bukan nak cerita pasal ukur lilit perut atau pasal hard rock abs haha. Kalau siapa siapa kenal Dr Haji Fadzilah Kamsah, dia mungkin tahu yang Dr Haji Fadzilah Kamsah ada buat kajian berdasarkan bulan kelahiran. Sebenarnya kajian mengenai bulan kelahiran/horoskop ni macam pelik sebab takkanlah 1/12 daripada manusia dalam dunia ni ada ciri ciri lebih kurang sama? Dan juga nasib yang sama (kalau horoskoplah). Tapi sebab orang dah buat kajian maka mungkin dia adalah betul sehingga satu tahap. Tapi dalam ciri ciri bulan Julai ni, ada satu je sifat fizikal yang ada dalam ciri ciri orang lahir bulan Julai. Iaitu, lemah kesihatan perut. Kalau ikut tahap kesihatan setakat ini, kesakitan yang selalu dilalui adalah demam, selesema, tonsil bengkak, lebam lebam yang muncul entah dari mana (biasanya sebab langgar mejalah sebab bila jalan tak tundukkan pandangan hahaha) dan juga sakit perut ! Kalau pasal perut ni, yang paling biasa adalah masuk angin. Makan banyak ke, makan sikit ke...

Hello ! I've been trying to write a story but the words just don't translate like I want it to. Haha writing short stories also this hard, how to write a novel. There's a novel writing competition the other day and I feel like joining but for the story that I wanted to write, I need to read more because it is not a tragic love story, but a crime novel. But by the look of it, I may not be joining because lazy haha, And also I cant use my own laptop now since it is broken :( Every once in a while I'll be super addicted to facebook games. I cannot stop playing soda crush and candy crush now. And since I have both applications on my phone, I'll play it on my phone first, and then on facebook. So I'll get 20 lives when I start playing. Last night I played until after subuh so technically I played it till today. Slept at 7 and woke up at 8.40 to get ready to go to work. Lolol what is my life. But Tun M sleeps only for 3 hours per day so does that mean I am better th...

Lisa sets everything up quickly because she is already late. She promised Sarah that she would talk to her everyday, at 12a.m. sharp. Whenever she is late, Sarah will be upset and angry and that is something that she would want to avoid. She does not need another broken cup or flickering light. "Sarah, are you there?" Lisa feels quite chilly that night and that is because she left the window open. She is unsure whether it is true or not, but some people say that if you want the connection to be better, you should leave your windows open. "Today is a very bad day. I saw them.. I saw them together" Sarah's voice is trembling, she is holding back her tears. She is talking about her 'soulmate', Alex who dumped her because their souls were no longer connecting. But it is true. Lisa saw with her own eyes that their relationship is breaking apart. Alex used to be able to listen to Sarah's stories day and night, but after a while, he got tired of it and ...

Listening to old Bigbang songs while writing my report. And then I got to Taeyang's Wedding Dress and I can hear the sound of my heart breaking. Hahaha. Had to gather myself for a few minutes and here I am writing this post to let my future self know that once upon a time you got sad listening to Wedding Dress. While procrastinating, I was looking at this person's twitter account. He is in love, I know he is. He retweets love quotes and bits and pieces of poems. Also he kinda announced that he is in love. But in a discreet way. Like you really have to look at his tweets to see that he is actually telling the world how's he feeling. He's like Hansel and Gretel, leaving breadcrumbs everywhere. I think that is very cute. I hope his girlfriend notices all the breadcrumbs since I think he is very private with his life. There are people who wants their significant other to announce their love to the world, and if she is one of them hopefully she can see it. The time of th...

I am a big believer of love. I used to be skeptical about love but not anymore considering that everyone around me keeps proving that true love is very real and not just a Disney movie plot. But I am not sure whether I am a realist or a pessimist, but I do once in a while (if not everytime) think that I am not worthy of true love. I have seen people who lives alone without any partner till they're old so I don't think that it is impossible for me to have such a life. I do think about it a lot to the point that I am actually making plans on how to survive when I am old and alone. This involves adopting children because I cant think of any other ways that is more secured than that. Or maybe I just be very rich and hire a team of helpers to help me when I am old. Whichever comes first lah haha. The reasons why I believe that I might not find anybody worth sharing my life is first, I don't even see anybody outside my circle. Except for work. My circle of friends is very sma...

Wow. July is very happening. A lot has happened and it is only the 27th haha. Bulan puasa, my birthday, raya, I went to a beach and air terjun in the same week, fell in love, went bat shit crazy because suddenly I am feeling things, got rejected HAHA, fell out of love, and I went to Bigbang concert ! I will update on the concert when YG uploads the Tour Report. Because I promised myself to enjoy the concert, I did not take any pictures during the concert. My bulan puasa was nice. But I miss a lot of sahur because I was sleeping late because I was avoiding sleep in order to avoid overthinking. But I also felt quite bad because I was thinking a lot about the dunia stuff while I should be focusing on the hereafter. Raya was a roller coaster. I was super happy and super sad, and then I got happier and then sadder. It was a bit tiring to feel so many things but I am glad that now I am back to my usual self. Sorry for those who were affected by my little journey of emotions. I wrote a ...

Haha hello. I am not talking about having a baby. Having your period is really weird, you're bleeding for a period (hehe) of time but you're not really dying. Your hormone is raging. You don't know what you want anymore. What you love today, you might hate it with all your guts tomorrow. And suddenly you want to be in love and get married and cuddle with someone. You want to eat a lot but you feel super fat and super conscious about your body. You want to be pretty but life is too much for a person who's bleeding that you end up wearing anything comfortable/you could find in your closet.  I hope everything goes well today. I am celebrating my birthday (wohoo !) with a bunch of friends and I am planning to eat everything that I can fit in my stomach. Also I need to drink coke to keep my uterus calm.  I shall find work to do. Bulan Puasa is fun because there's not many thing to do, but since I can't talk with anybody, it is pretty boring. Okaylah, till ...

July would be nice and exciting. Repeat after me. Nice and exciting. And hopefully not too hot. Because these few days I felt like a squid in my office. Luckily I can have the office to myself so I can take off my tudung when I'm working. Which is pretty nice, but also scary because even the slightest sound sends me running to the toilet because I am not wearing my tudung. Is this the life of a daredevil? Is it worth it? Haha. My life nowadays is pretty boring. Everybody is getting busier and it is hard to meet the people you used to see everyday. But now that everyone is busy, I am left talking/singing alone in the office. Which kinda suck but kinda good too considering that I can't sing that well. What else is new? I am hooked on the Clash of Clans. My mother keeps telling me to stop playing the game but I am not even a hardcore Clasher. Because when you're on the higher level (ehem), the waiting time is longer and there's no point to play the game as frequent a...

Ada ke mak rambut? Kalau ada, selamat hari emak kepada Mak Rambut. Segan je tengok blog ni. Asyik janji janji je nak post, itu pun tak buat. Padahal janji dengan diri sendiri tu. Harini kita post lah sikit. Supaya masa depan nanti kita boleh baca dan lihat apa ada dalam kepala hawa pada hari ini. Kalau sesiapa kenal saya, pastilah tau saya pakai shawl tanpa pin dan anak tudung. I avoided bangs like a plague. Haha tipu je. Kakak potongkan rambut tu yang tak bagi potong rambut depan. So I kinda look like Cher at home hahahahaha. Yes, I took orders from Kakak Gunting Rambut. I mean, dia pegang gunting dekat telinga kot. Gila taknak dengar. Dia potong telinga baru tau. Tapi, oleh sebab kedegilan taknak pakai anak tudung ni, maka banyaklah anak anak rambut cuba melepaskan diri untuk melihat dunia. Rebelious. Haha sebenarnya bukan anak rambut pun, dia rambut yang sebenarlah. Tapi, ada seorang je yang biasa tegur pasal rambut ni. Who else other than my trusted bff aka Nussow. I am not s...

Hi ! Ogenki desuka? Today, I would like to share a bit about the trip I took the other day. One of the perks of my job is that I get to travel for free. So alhamdulillah, last Thursday, our team went to Langkawi to handle a team building program. The program was intended to be super light and easy which is good because that's just another way of saying let's go on a holiday. To be honest, initially I thought that the trip would suck. Because I'd be working and I would be alone without my friends. But it turned out to be super fun so I will share about my trip with you guys. Minus the working part, of course because why would you even bother haha. So, for this post I will be talking about the hotel, Geopark Inn Hotel. When my boss told me to look at the website, I was super impressed ! I mean, look at these pictures. Really pretty right? I am not expecting a five stars hotel, but this will do. But when we got there, this is how the building looks like ...