Note to self

You are a shit friend, Hawa. And also a shit person. Literally (because haven't pooped kakaka) and figuratively. 

Okay this is a serious post. Not an update on my stomach. 

Whenever I try to fix things, they end up being worse. But I still do it anyway. Probably because I am the only one who think that things need fixing. But if I sense something is not fine, should I ignore it? Because talking about it is also an attempt to fix it. 

Also whatsapp is a bitch. Especially when you're explaining things. You say it this way, they'd see it the other way. So note to self, say what you want to say face to face or by phone calls. And don't be a chicken by only having balls when you're texting.

A friend told me I was being irrational, I said thank you because at least I know how the friend thinks of me and friend said I am provoking. I really don't want to lose this friend, but all I do is pushing this friend away. 

Sad to say that I am too attached to this person that I end up being crazy and delusional. I know what's the solution but thinking about it also makes my chest painful. But I am already causing too much damage to this person so this is the only way to make it better. 

My body projects my feelings physically, so this past few days I constantly feel like I need to puke my guts out. 

Stop being too attached. 

You need to stop.

Just stop.

Hahahaha my thoughts are everywhere except where they need to be. 

Am I crazy?
No, you're just very different.
So, I am crazy.
Yup, a little bit