crapola

It's late and I am going for a picnic tomorrow! Will be cooking too so I should be sleeping but huhuhu I will risk it! Today my Pak Ngah passed away but I am at home because Ariff is having his PT3 on Monday and my parents are unsure whether they can make it before Monday. Growing up, I saw my Pak Ngah a lot. He took some wrong turns in his life, costing him a lot, including his own son but he braved through it all, turning over a new leaf before he passed away. I'm not God so I don't know where will he end up but he went from the son who would shout at my grandmother on Raya morning to my grandmother's favorite. He was with here all the time at the end of his life and that is definitely a nice chapter to end your book at. As for my grandmother, I hope she will be strong enough to face this. Now I am at a weird point in my life. It feels like I have things under control but at the same time, I think I feel like I don't. I also don't contribute anything to

So... my social media detox lasted less than 2 weeks. Hahaha. But I still haven't installed Twitter on my phone, just using it on incognito tab on my phone so that it would be harder for me to open them and waste time on it. Last week was pretty eventful. I got sick! My mother and I ate the chicken rice that she bought and she puked thrice and got diarrhea. I have a pretty strong stomach but I guess the chicken rice is a stronger contender haha. I was okay at first. I also didn't eat anything else so my rice needed to be digested first before I can remove them. In the morning, I woke up and went to the toilet but still was feeling super bad and then I projectile vomited haha. I spent two days not eating anything other than few bites here and there and Alhamdulillah by Saturday, I was fine. The bad thing about this is that I don't have any energy to make sandwiches which means no money but the good thing is I was actually the lightest I have ever been in years hahaha.

A few months ago I sent a one month notice and finally resigned from my job. After that, it's been a whirlwind of emotion - happy for removing myself from a toxic environment (not from my colleague, they're the best), sad from being rejected by so many companies that I personally would like to work for, anxious and scared due to some health scare I got a few weeks ago and many more. It's really fun most of the time but there are times where I think I am in an infinity loop. I also realized that I am so out of focus, and I realized that it is because I am super addicted to social media. There are so many things to look at, so many things to read, to absorb, to feel and I just got super tired. I uninstalled my Twitter app on my phone and logged out of my Instagram account. While I still use my phone a lot, I realised that I am more focused on doing things because less distraction and I can also avoid information overload on my poor little brain. Not only that, but I also