Today I went out to buy something to wear on my cousin's wedding. I didn't buy anything but it was still a nice outing because I can finally talk to somebody (outside my family) (which I didn't really talk to these past few days because I kept falling asleep very early) about things. I am very lonely these days haha. But while we were talking, Zana said something about relationship and how she believes that someone that she knows will not last long together as a couple because she cant see how they're both soulmates to each other. I was thinking about what she said and suddenly I realized, it is not that hard to be someone's soulmate? In my 24 years of living, there are a bunch of people that I believe are my soulmates at one point of my life.
My first soulmate is Nawawi. I met him in kindergarten and we spent a lot of time playing together. The teacher would separate the girls and the boys because it's an Islamic kindergarten but I would insist to sit beside Nawawi almost everyday (#youngrebel #fthesystem haha). I'm not sure how I managed to do that but that's what I did. And then after I graduated from kindergarten, we don't see each other anymore so that's the end with my first soulmate.
My second soulmate is Atiqah. We're both prefects in primary school and have the same height, some people said that it is hard to differentiate us from behind. Though we're too young to be attached by emotional bond, physically, we did almost everything together. The first thing I do when I go to school is to find her and and just hang around together. But without phones and because I went to boarding school, I said goodbye to my second soulmate. I did see her when we're in form three, but at that time she is nothing like how I remembered her, though she is still very nice to me. We tried to connect but it didn't happen because we're just too different now.
When I was in form 1 and form 2, I have a group of bestfriends but I didn't really get attached to anybody. Okay maybe Zoyan because I'd hang around in her dorm everyday and she would ask me to sleep with me even though I was coughing the whole night. But we drifted apart after a while because she became a prefect hahaha taklah I'm just kidding. But when I was in form 3, I became friend with Humairah because she helped me plot my revenge towards this girl because she refused to sit with me even though she promised me to. It was successful because that girl came and apologize haha. After that we did everything together, have inside jokes where only the two of us would understand, tell each other about our dirty secrets, talk about our crushes ahaha, sleep together every other day, sell hotdogs. Once I went to another school for a week for a homestay program and she gave me a letter about how she'd be alone at school (despite being a part of a gang with 8 members) and other thing. We don't hang around with each other that much now, but I know if I need to find comfort, I can just whatsapp her and talk about things like the old days.
Then when I was 18, I actually decided that I like this one person, invited myself to this person's outing with his friends, instantly clicked and I thought that I have found my ultimate soulmate, even though his music preferences is very different that mine. That didn't last very long haha but in the span of 4 months or less, I've made more memories with this person than some of my friends that I've known for years. These days when I talk to him it is super awkward and formal and there are times where I surprised myself that I actually lived through that period of time.
In degree years (tho technically I'm still in my degree years hahaha), I was more matured and adult and instead of bonding over the trip to dewan makan or matching shirts, I bonded with Nanad emotionally where I showed her almost every side of me. I am still cautious about what I share with her but she definitely knows more about me than other people. Emotionally lah. Till today i would still tell her about my feelings because I know that she wont judge me for feeling things. And I hope to have her as my soulmate until the rest of my life.
From all of this, I can conclude a lot of things about me and about soulmates. First, I just realized that I am what you can call as a sticky friend. I will stick to you like an extra limb haha. But for this to happen, of course you need consent because not many people can understand your need to stick to people like that and will find you a bit of a nuisance. And then I realized that I also rarely go on an adventure by myself because I will always have someone by my side. As for soulmates, you can actually make it happen even if it feels weird at first. After a while you'll develop your own language, you'll understand everything even when they only say half of it, you develop tolerance and understanding towards a person like never before. All their flaws are a part of them and you wouldn't want to change any part of it. This is also what makes it very hard when you find yourself going further away from them. It starts with you getting pissed off over little thing, and then you find them troublesome at times though there are good times, and then you start to understand less and before you know it, they're just somebody that you used to know.
So, moral of this story is, if you're having a hard time understanding someone, leave them alone or try very hard to find something that will help you click with each other. Maybe they are your next soulmate. So yeah, it is possible for lovers who aren't soulmates at first, to be soulmates later. Till then, bye !
My first soulmate is Nawawi. I met him in kindergarten and we spent a lot of time playing together. The teacher would separate the girls and the boys because it's an Islamic kindergarten but I would insist to sit beside Nawawi almost everyday (#youngrebel #fthesystem haha). I'm not sure how I managed to do that but that's what I did. And then after I graduated from kindergarten, we don't see each other anymore so that's the end with my first soulmate.
My second soulmate is Atiqah. We're both prefects in primary school and have the same height, some people said that it is hard to differentiate us from behind. Though we're too young to be attached by emotional bond, physically, we did almost everything together. The first thing I do when I go to school is to find her and and just hang around together. But without phones and because I went to boarding school, I said goodbye to my second soulmate. I did see her when we're in form three, but at that time she is nothing like how I remembered her, though she is still very nice to me. We tried to connect but it didn't happen because we're just too different now.
When I was in form 1 and form 2, I have a group of bestfriends but I didn't really get attached to anybody. Okay maybe Zoyan because I'd hang around in her dorm everyday and she would ask me to sleep with me even though I was coughing the whole night. But we drifted apart after a while because she became a prefect hahaha taklah I'm just kidding. But when I was in form 3, I became friend with Humairah because she helped me plot my revenge towards this girl because she refused to sit with me even though she promised me to. It was successful because that girl came and apologize haha. After that we did everything together, have inside jokes where only the two of us would understand, tell each other about our dirty secrets, talk about our crushes ahaha, sleep together every other day, sell hotdogs. Once I went to another school for a week for a homestay program and she gave me a letter about how she'd be alone at school (despite being a part of a gang with 8 members) and other thing. We don't hang around with each other that much now, but I know if I need to find comfort, I can just whatsapp her and talk about things like the old days.
Then when I was 18, I actually decided that I like this one person, invited myself to this person's outing with his friends, instantly clicked and I thought that I have found my ultimate soulmate, even though his music preferences is very different that mine. That didn't last very long haha but in the span of 4 months or less, I've made more memories with this person than some of my friends that I've known for years. These days when I talk to him it is super awkward and formal and there are times where I surprised myself that I actually lived through that period of time.
In degree years (tho technically I'm still in my degree years hahaha), I was more matured and adult and instead of bonding over the trip to dewan makan or matching shirts, I bonded with Nanad emotionally where I showed her almost every side of me. I am still cautious about what I share with her but she definitely knows more about me than other people. Emotionally lah. Till today i would still tell her about my feelings because I know that she wont judge me for feeling things. And I hope to have her as my soulmate until the rest of my life.
From all of this, I can conclude a lot of things about me and about soulmates. First, I just realized that I am what you can call as a sticky friend. I will stick to you like an extra limb haha. But for this to happen, of course you need consent because not many people can understand your need to stick to people like that and will find you a bit of a nuisance. And then I realized that I also rarely go on an adventure by myself because I will always have someone by my side. As for soulmates, you can actually make it happen even if it feels weird at first. After a while you'll develop your own language, you'll understand everything even when they only say half of it, you develop tolerance and understanding towards a person like never before. All their flaws are a part of them and you wouldn't want to change any part of it. This is also what makes it very hard when you find yourself going further away from them. It starts with you getting pissed off over little thing, and then you find them troublesome at times though there are good times, and then you start to understand less and before you know it, they're just somebody that you used to know.
So, moral of this story is, if you're having a hard time understanding someone, leave them alone or try very hard to find something that will help you click with each other. Maybe they are your next soulmate. So yeah, it is possible for lovers who aren't soulmates at first, to be soulmates later. Till then, bye !
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